#takemeback

I would be as annoying as every other seventeen year old on social media (for the most part). I unnecessarily hashtag things (#fuckoffidontcarewhatyouthink), I get excited with each new “like” and I even visit my own profile to “see how things are looking”. It’s most probably due to my annoying nature, that things I do not participate in online (quite bluntly) piss the shit out of me.

#1 – The Birthday Photo (sneaky hashtag)

Its a trend that has swept my entire friendship group and age group as a whole. I can hear them now, as they read over this “at least I don’t write posts no one reads!!”, and yes they would be correct, however I will progress in pointing out this birthday habit’s flaws.

My view on it as a whole is quite basic, and probably correct. People post photos on Facebook “friends” walls on their birthday to highlight to other users the quality of their relationship.

e.g. “Did you see the photo Tina posted on Jake’s wall for his birthday?!”

“Yes!! So funny. Is that pic even on Facebook? I didn’t even know they were that close.”

And by now I am asking myself, is it better or worse if people upload a new photo or simply copy and paste the link of one previously uploaded onto their wall? Is it necessary to link a photo that they would have previously seen to highlight their friendship? Is it necessary to dig around your computer for a while finding a hot shot of the two of you?

Both are bad. Birthday wall photos are bad. Stop it now.

#2 #TAKEMEBACK

Summer is an amazing season. Holidays and doing activities uncommon to your normal schedule are awesome. Hastaging ‘Take Me Back’, sadly, will not allow these things to return to your life anytime soon.

I think this hashtag is used for two reasons. People find a hot, old picture of themselves in a bikini and need an excuse to show everyone without being a whore. Or the discovery of an amazing picture, “fuck I didn’t instagram that when I was in India”….. #TAKEMEBACK.

I’ve been one to wish to return to things in the past, but hashtagging to the past is impossible. I’m sorry instagrammers.

#3 SHARE. RE-TAG. REPEAT.

I’m not denying I love receiving “likes”. If there is nothing more exciting on the internet it is to see the unknown and known who have given your profile a squiz, checked out the profile picture and decided to do a charitable deed by liking it.

However I am not in an even playing field.

It may be because I have a penis. Or it may be the obvious tactic taken by many females. This is an exclusive insight into a teenage girls mind.

thought: okay I’ll make this my profile picture.
thought: to crop or not to crop…. crop omg. Is that a new mole on my leg?
thought: tick tock… 10 likes and it’s been one minute. Sandy will pay me out so much. *Share*
thought: that did the trick. I bet she hasn’t had 15 more like 4 seconds after a share.
thought: why is the newsfeed so busy? Fuck… I need to get back up there. *Tag*
thought: hahaha oh my god what a creep! The girls would of never had a year 12 like their profile pic.
thought: I only have 100.

and then they share, re-tag and repeat.

Although I’m sure if I was a hot year nine girl I would be totally onto this.

#4 Long ass captions

Another habit I have seen from year nine girls. Maybe I just have a problem with young girls on facebook?

Normal people (me) caption photos like “womadelaide”. I firmly believe that one to three words is enough for people to understand where you are and what you are doing. However others (year nines I’m looking at you) think a caption the size of the bible needs to be entered.

This caption, if you can even call it that, rambles on justifying why the photo is uploaded. Copy and pasted below is an actual caption I just saw on a profile picture. Let’s cringe together.

Emma Made me 😦
But theres this girl Alicia and i love her ♥
Angus is such a seed..
Mika Is so rebellious
Ellen Is my fav ♥
Nathan and Tommy are cool cats.
Morning glory ♥
Emma didn’t make you. The only way I can imagine Emma “making you” do it is standing behind you while you’re on your computer with a knife across your throat. Your not in an interrogation room confessing to a murder, you just changed your profile picture. And as much as I’m sure Nathan and Tommy are “cool cats” you look like a “loser cat”.

Note: If it has a “see more” option.. it’s too long

Image

God I’m pathetic.

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About itsamaddoworld

Hello World. My names Matt, alternatively known as Maddo. Being the diverse person I am my blogging topics will range from factory farmed animals to Britney Spears, my love for ice-magic and equal rights. I'll talk about the irrelevant and the relevant, which may not make sense to some, but it's a maddo world after all.
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One Response to #takemeback

  1. lbochner says:

    omg Matt this post.. made me

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